Politics do make strange "bedfellows"

We live in interesting times where people have actually stopped talking to family members because of who they voted for in the 2016 election. This has spilled into everyday dialog and how one falls on those issues can be significant deal breakers. Am talking about running out of the restaurant kinds of deal breakers.

It's almost like finding out the guy is married but different. Married is GOOD BYE, GOOD LUCK have a nice day. This "politics" issue is somewhat more complicated.

A gazillion years ago, my first post college significant boyfriend who stayed my boyfriend on and off for 9 years had very different politics than mine.  It took awhile for me to figure it out because I was too excited to be learning NYC from a very worldly and experienced man. Who gave a crap about his politics. Unlike today, politics was not  always on the menu. Political discourse was eminently civilized. sort of

During the course of some conversation or other, he let out the fact that not only was he  Republican but a conservative Republican. I was like SAY WHAT?? I came from a lefty family where we screeched about current events over the dinner table even though we were all on the same page. AHHH, sweet childhood memories/NOT!!!

Of course, Adam's revelation of his political proclivities was met by my big fat mouth meaning I tried to convince him to think otherwise. 
I can be super convincing but not about this. Not happening. Almost as bad as going into a relationship thinking that you are going to change someone and hello, AIN'T ever happening. 

From that day on, we decided to not ever ever talk about politics. For a politics junkie, this was tough stuff but there was too much good stuff to ruin the party. 

Every once in awhile our differences would rear their ugly heads and it was never pretty. We went to a partners dinner in oh so very snooty Rumson, NJ. Gorgeous dinner, fabulous wine. Conversation left a lot to be desired as it was skewing very political. NOT GOOD! Can't escape this  important dinner but what to do what to do. 
The answer was not to drink myself into a stupor but rather just stay mute.

Now, my lovely readers, I come from the school of more is less when it comes to conversation so this was tough. Adam closely watched me as he knew I was ready to pounce but was trying oh so very hard not to open my mouth. This was aided by him pinching me a few times on my thigh as a reminder. No, this was not a form of foreplay. We were a pinching kind of couple. LOL
This pinch was "sta zitto" Italian for don't you dare open that big mouth. 

So what did i do, I fled to the bathroom and stayed there for I don't know how many minutes until Adam, very red faced rescued me and we bid our "fond" farewells to the very insulted host and hostess. WHATEVER.

Segue forward all these years later. It is perfectly clear in my bio that I am not interested in those who voted for 45. Couldn't be clearer. Well, apparently, many people don't read the fine print. Geez. I sort of get it as it 's exhausting sifting through all the crapola that is written in some of these profiles. Mine is short, well not short but sweet. Am fabulous and if you're not then go away. Not really but you got my drift.

One particularly boiling hot night, I went to meet a date at an adorable restaurant not far from where i live. BTW, I hesitate to take dates to some of my fave spots as if the date is not great, it sort of ruins the place. Conversely, if it's a fabulous date, then it becomes a go to place for us the "couple" or should i just say the dating duo.

Anyway, I met this man with whom I had several phone convos and he seemed nice enough. Alright, a little short as in really short but hello, am not shallow. Am I? We ordered and immediately I was not comfortable with some of the remarks he made but was trying to disregard his comments and stuff my mouth with fabulous pizza. I don't know what started him up but the next thing I know is that he is in full tirade mode about people "like" me and our corrosive politics and so on. Hello, is this part of normal dinner conversation. NO F'IN way. I tried to remain calm and then he said something that was just so repugnant, I jumped out of my chair,  threw down my napkin, thanked him for ruining my dinner and ran out of the restaurant. Did I mention that it was about 100 degrees out. Just to calm down, I walked the 20 blocks home. Shvitzing to the max but happy to be out of that from vom convo.

Well after the election, I had a similar incident. Do I not speak and write English? Does it not clearly say to pass me by on this particular topic? This guy was the one who stormed out of the restaurant and I was left embarrassed as hell to pay the bill. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't a place to which I go quite often. Anyway, I left a big tip and skulked out of the restaurant.
As I turned the corner to go to my house, out of nowhere comes this putz who just had a tantrum in the restaurant. Firstly, stalking doesn't work for me and what in hell did he want? He wanted to explain and I was less than interested in hearing what he had to say, But this is the real clicker: after what can only be described as the date from hell, he wanted to come upstairs with me. Was he out of his mind? A for effort and thank you to my doorman for getting rid of him. NO JOKE>

People have always disagreed about politics and that is fine but today, the atmosphere is so toxic that one just needs to stay clear of those who are not on the same path as you are. It's unfortunate as a little give and take in a conversation makes things lively but outright hostility, not so good.

Didn't mean to be so serious but it's more a metaphor for other things. Opposites attract and that's great but polar opposites not so much.

Takeaway ladies: he is who he is especially at this age. Trying to change him is foolhardy and no god damn fun. So pass him by even if he is cute and reads great on paper.



Comments

  1. Your experiences are consistent with my theory that us men are compelled to do what our instincts tell us to do even when there is no chance of a positive outcome. A man's burned in programming requires him to seek out desirable women and make himself known to them. For many of us, the programming requires us to initiate contract with an exciting woman even though we understand that the following kinds of items in a woman's dating profile are true and accurate reality:
    She has strong political views and does not care to spend time with a man who has strongly conflicting views.
    She lives somewhere that he is not willing to travel to.
    She has strong religious beliefs and wants a partner who shares those beliefs.
    She is only looking for a "forever" relationship with "the one" and has no desire for a NSA fling that has potential to develop into FWB.
    She is only looking for a traveling companion and dinner/dancing partner and has no desire for a sexual relationship.
    Her first priorities are her career, family, causes, and religion; therefore a relationship with a man will be on a tier below that.
    She has "deal breakers" such as men who are married, unemployed, use alcohol, use drugs, use tobacco, who are short, fat, bald, unfit, uneducated, can't dance, ride motorcycles, are narcissist gym rats, or have young children.
    She has "must haves" such as love dogs, ride horses, love football, baseball, sailing, surfing, hiking, camping, or bicycling.
    Whenever these items are in a woman's dating profile and are in strong conflict with a man's own identity, a man should not initiate contact with her no matter how exciting and desirable she appears to be. Even if she responds she will eventually think that he has wasted her time. As you can see from your experiences, this is not something that many of us men can make ourselves do.
    Kind regards

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