An Affair to Remember

The movie An Affair to Remember is one of the most extraordinarily romantic movies I've ever seen.  Every time, Cary Grant goes near Deborah Kerr, I plotz. Just love it. 
 BTW, so over hearing that Cary Grant was bisexual. WHO GIVES A FLYING F---?? He could have been doing small animals along with women and men in the same bed while standing on his head. What an image but GEEZ, who cares? Gorgeous is gorgeous. No one until George Clooney could wear a tuxedo like Cary. Just saying.

Ok,  "doing someone" is a vulgar way to talk about someone having  sex with another someone but it worked in this context. And of course, we all know that I am never vulgar!!! OK maybe a little but  I can lady up with the best of them. 
My apologies to a very dear friend whom I chastise when he uses that expression. Mea culpa!

Anyway, I have been pondering what a love affair is. Is it like you've been struck by lightening? Then again, if you had been struck by lightening, you'd most likely be near dead and not thinking about your paramour.  Does it connote illicit as in stepping out on one's significant other? Not always. An Affair to Remember was not an illicit love affair. Ok, no carping, I know it's a movie. DUH, but I'm making a point. 

I think that it might be the one drop dead passing out can't live without  each other kind of love, which could mimic some kind of mania and at our age, the onset of some kind of medical episode. Whatever, I think you get where I'm driving. Ok, stop shaking your head wondering is she driving forever or is there a destination??  Pay attention, am getting there. 

First, it it hot? Of course, it is. That's just part of it. I've been re-watching The Affair as research for this post. Who am I kidding? Research 20%, Cole 80%. Another stunning specimen of male pulchritude. Oh yeah!

Now, like on TV,  but real humans the beginning of a love affair is definitely combustible ripping off each other's clothes possibly with one's teeth kind of heat. At our age, ripping off clothes, someone could break a hip or crack a crown. Only kidding,  and of course, we can still rock and roll like when we were young and probably and in some cases  even better. That we have to be aware of joints and I don't mean the smoking kind doesn't mean we're over it. Just the opposite!

Now layer on the LOVE  which is the best part of the equation. This is love as in REAL love and not just lust. It's the kind of love that makes you weak at the knees and NOOOO, it's not the same as your arthritis acting up. UGH! 
It's like being tipsy and you haven't been near a bottle of wine. That headiness dissipates over time but the love that one feels and your partner feels remains and grows stronger.

 Sooo, the question is have you ever felt this? Do we have only one drop dead for kind of love affair or do we have more than one?  Definitely, more than one.  I know that I have had 2 1/2 and am so not done yet, nor are you!

For me, I had one AWESOME love affair when I was a very young woman, just out of college that went on for years. This was the man who taught me how to be a grown up and not just in the bedroom or at a dinner table with the grown ups. He was older and I was like a sponge soaking it all up. He was THE ONE!   We'd go dancing at nightclubs. YUP, nightclubs. In the late 70's, there was one on the Central Park South that I think was called the Stork Club. Not the original Stork Club, holy gee, am not 90. 
I would wear a killer dress and he would wear a suit or even a tux sometimes and God were we gorgeous. LEGIT!

Most importantly, he was/is a good and kind man. Plus, he showed me a world that I had never seen.
There was a deep love between us that knew no boundaries.
Was he perfect? Hell, no! Flawed like all humans. Of course, I'm perfect but that's a whole other conversation and if you believe that, I have a bridge in brooklyn that I would be thrilled to sell you. :)
 Must admit that  after all these years, it still gives me the shivers thinking about that fabulous time.
 Not that long ago, I realized, that no man had a shot with me for years because I still had him in my head for quite a long time after we broke up. Yup, it was that intense. 

The second one, I wrote about  in my blog post about "old boyfriends". This was 2 mature adults so the amour fou component had mellowed but crazy about each other, without a doubt. If you read it, you know, that  I almost gave myself half a heart attack and a broken neck trying to come out of the bathroom wrapped in bath towels because I was hysterical. Stupid as he was 50ish as was I and the vision wasn't what it used to be but whatever. It was special; not the towels, the love affair but the towels were great and a big improvement over my first outfit of choice: the shower curtain. The most important thing I learned from this love affair was that I still had the capacity to love someone with all my heart. Still do as do you.

Lastly, I don't know about you but how can a woman ever forget the first person who was her first lover? That experience is burned into my brain. BTW, the first time STINKS and anyone who says differently is lying or is having a senior moment. Am honest, sue me. This guy was gorgeous, omg, yup passing out to die for on steroids and a bad boy. Yah, I liked that then. OYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 When he touched my neck, I got goosebumps. YUM!  It was a love affair of a different sort. But, yeah, it was hot and I loved him and he loved me. This was amour fou and  and we burned each other out. Why only a 1/2 rating, not so sure but it fits.

OK, do we have another love affair in us? DAMN RIGHT, we do. It will be different but I'll know it when I feel "that" way again and so will you! This will be the REAL DEAL meeting the REAL DEAL. Two  people who  have been around the block several times, OK,  more than several times and know what's what but still have lots to learn.
Will we dance? YOU BET! Bring it on. So what if my knees hurt the next day. That's why God made ice packs. And will we have sex?  OF COURSE, WE WILL. Will it be like when we were 25, highly unlikely but you never know. Wink, wink.  Seriously though, it will be better in some ways this time around as we know what's good and what's not and we will be able to say what we want because we can. Right?  Of course right!! BTW, if you are too timid to say something, put on or better yet,  take off your big girl panties and tell it like it is.
####Sidebar: my physical therapist the other day remarked that considering that i have one lousy knee and one not so great one and etc that I have great range of motion. Hello, how do you think I've managed that? Smoke and mirrors, nope, the horizontal cha cha works wonders in keeping one flexible. LOL!! 

We're a better version of our younger selves. Like fine wine we get better with age. Alright, am pushing the envelope here a bit but hell, am listening to romantic music. I've been up and dancing all while writing this post. 

The good thing about being our age  is that our inhibitions are long gone. Who has the time for that crap?  Good lighting, a glass of red and the fact that no one sees so great and can 't see that you have the map of the US on your legs and some things are not as perky as they used to be is an added bonus. And guess what, men's bodies change, too. Ya think?? Many of us have entertained skewing younger for many reasons but being realistic 10 years younger is about the limit at least for me as who needs someone who can see and hear? NOT ME!!!

The best, best part is we know what it feels like  to love someone and to be  loved back. No time for emotional jousting. Either you're on the bus or you're off the bus and at this point, who has the patience for getting on and off the bus with someone who doesn't even know there's a bus. 

So, are you ready? I know I am! The best is yet to come! 




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