This that and the other thing...

Last week, I  mentioned in one of my posts that I was going on a date, which is something I hadn't done in awhile. Big whoop, you're thinking but I had been in a dating lull, so to speak. 

Should have stayed home but whatever. Getting there was comedy of errors as  I was having mechanical difficulties: panties falling down and dress blowing up threatening to repeat that iconic scene when Marilyn Monroe's dress blew up over her head. Marilyn, oh yeah, me not so much.  And need I remind myself that I am prone to trip when I am not paying attention. Geez, who could pay attention when there were so many moving parts?

Met the date, he seemed pleasant enough. Ten minutes in, I "knew" all about his career and how much he made. What the hell was that all about and why did I need that info? Was it like the guys that have the big flashy sports cars to make up for inefficiencies in their boy parts? Ya think?
Anyway, 2 hours and one drink later, I was ready to chew off my own arm because I was starving. My usual forthright self would have said, how's about that hummus? This time I was just out to lunch or should I say jonesing for a dinner any kind of dinner and it was not coming from him, which was fine as we both were bored senseless.

Finally, we both had enough and went our separate ways. I prayed all the way home that my local joint would still be serving and yay, they were. A nice man started chatting me up but I was too busy rocking my crostini to get into another blah blah. Did I miss something? Was this one of those serendipitous moments? Maybe, but oh well. 
Then again, it's a neighborhood place so one never knows, we might run into one another and this time I won't be eating like I am going to the chair the next day. 

On another topic, getting advice is never on the  menu for me. Hate hearing it and don't relish giving it. Several years ago, I received 2 brilliant pieces of advice from a dear friend. First time, we were having our dinner of champions: wine, cheese, more wine, more cheese and the top of a William H. Greenberg bapka aka known as food heaven.

We all like to talk about sex but I had no idea that I was going to have this kind of convo with this particular friend; maybe because she was older as in a little older than I am now, but we were friends so why not talk about sex? Conversations about sex are always on the menu. 

Bapka friend turned to me and in her ever so dignified voice said that highly neurotic people looking right at me,  should have sex often but and this is the big but, only if it's good. Sex is a great stress mitigator and gets one passed all that noise in one's head. Sort of like yoga but far more fun. She was right and it gave me something about which to think. Mind you, I was married when she was saying this so sex, EWWW. 

Several years later, seated in her fabulous apartment,  we were having a slightly different version of our usual dinner and she asked me about my sex life which at that time was huh, sex, have I done that?  By that time, I had left my marriage but dating not so much so sex was a distant memory. Guess what, I didn't even miss it. I know can you imagine?
Anyway, she had been with the same man for years and to my eyes, their relationship was good  and it was. Out of nowhere, she said you know, when sex becomes a job, I am out and I kept my mouth shut about that revelation.

Didn't get that one until many years later and now, boy do i get it. Nothing wrong with putting in a little muscle but a shvitz fest to get nowhere fast, sorry, am out, too.

Now mind you, if one is in a real relationship and there are little blips in the sexual arena, you work on it but Geez, not when it starts feeling like digging ditches would be easier.

So my dear friend has actually given me the 2 best pieces of advice about the horizontal cha cha that I had ever gotten. Am passing them along because why not, plus, we all know sex is supposed to be fun and in no way should resemble work, right,  ladies???

As for that date, what date? LOL and am sure he's thinking the very same thing. 


  1. As a man I have a very high tolerance for both bad sex and sex as grunt work, but I respect that your friend’s advice is best for women.
    A lot of older women take this advice and the dating sites are filled with desirable, exciting 59 year old women who are just looking for someone to hang out with.
    These women are being up front about their intententions but so many guys either don’t read the profiles or don’t believe them.


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