Changing it up


Internet dating with all its charms is a fact of life.  If you're  out there in the dating world, which I hope you are,  you've been or are on one of the apps or several as well as the "old fashioned" online sites. 
BTW, if you are taking a well deserved dating break because you are suffering from dating ennui, take your time, life is not a beat the clock game and don't let some well meaning pain in the ass friend or your kids, push you.
If you still haven't taken the plunge into dating world, what can I tell you? It's not easy and you have to be brave and  you really have to be ready. Then again, no one is ever quite ready. Bottom line is if you're not in it, you can't win it. 
##Holy, geez, who am I, Vince Lombardi and when did i ever use that expression but it works in this context. Vince did know about the winning thing, right? What sport was that again? LOL

Online dating can be fun and often fruitful  but it requires a lot of effort and often times a constitution made out of cast iron. And yes, OF COURSE,  there are nice people on the sites and apps but aren't there other ways to meet people?  You bet there are. 

In my never ending research for Sixty, and no, I am not going to bore you with my addiction to The Affair  AGAIN. 
Hello, this is me, am never stuck in neutral. Yeah right. 
Just so you know, I've switched alliances and am now obsessed with Vic and spoiler alert, they're killing him off. Really, is that a nice thing to do? And for those who have not yet watched, grow up and put it on.  It's still the best sex I have ever seen on TV and fabulously written and acted.  Just sayin. 

Moving on... I've been an avid reader of the Sunday times wedding announcements since before brooklyn was a prairie, but now,  I've taken to reading the last paragraph of each wedding announcement to see where the couple met and skipping the who, what, where crap in the middle.
Of course, there are the jdate, match, bumble and tinder et al crew but guess what? There are other ways these people have met and in last week's NYT's the "other ways" outweighed the online mode. Go figure. 

Cultural event: long been a culture vulture and for me, this is not a stretch. Recently, I went to a fabulous event at the Met at which Sting performed. Fabulosity! All good except I was with a date. No offense to the guy but not for me and if I had been alone, there were some interesting men there and I'm friendly, right?

So, I've decided to go to another museum event and this time I invited an old girlfriend to come with me. I didn't present it as a fishing expedition but more a great way to see each other and look at some gorgeous art work which it is.  

It's partially business for me so there will be some work related shmoozing. Then, we will look at the exhibit and then, we are going to look around to see if anyone looks like they're up for a conversation and maybe going out for a drink. Imagine that, actually meeting a real in the flesh human being without having to scroll, swipe,  email, text, call before you get to say hello in 3D. Sounds nice, right? and uncomplicated.

I've tried to do meet ups or should i say I've signed up for lots of meet ups and have gone to none. Why, the concept of a roomful of people on the hunt is gagalicious. Try it though,  you might like it. If you do and it's enjoyable and in no way resembles those revolting singles get togethers from the  late 70's, let me know, maybe I'll try it.

The other way of meeting people that I have rediscovered is getting set-up. Now that is never in our control but you never know where that potential set-up is going to come from. My advice is be open to it. Now, unroll your eyeballs and pay attention.

Recently, I've had a few opportunities to meet men by this mode and I like it. Now, it doesn't necessarily mean success woohoo am in love because he came highly recommended but it's just easier. There is usually 1 phone call or 2 and poof, you're sitting across the table from Mr. Nice Guy without the long preamble. Right now, there appears to be a "work in progress" and I'm rocking it. Stay tuned.

The  next route I have never pursued at least in terms of meeting men is charity work. Yah, imagine that doing something for the greater good and not just centering your whole life on meeting the new Mister.
 I have my pet projects but lately am branching out and I am paying more attention to the people around me, as, again, you never know. To all of you, if you go to one of these things looking like yesterday's lunch, which I have many times, ratchet it up a bit and don't put on an evening gown but cool jeans a great tee shirt and lipstick.
***sidebar, has anyone  noticed that one's face sort of disappears without lipstick? When did that happen??? and yes, I had that mother like we all did who said, PUT ON LIPSTICK whenever you leave the house. God, I can still hear it. 
This leaving the house included taking out the garbage but whatever.

Along these lines, are actual charity fundraisers. I've circled a few and the possibilities are there, trust me. 

The round up: be flexible, try something new like a dancing class or any of the aforementioned things or whatever sounds good to you. Hey, there might be someone at work and yeah, yeah, yeah,  I've heard that old chestnut about don't poo poo where you eat. The hell with that but be smart about it and please make sure he's not married. 

Also, smile, be accessible, you never know who might greet you. 

He's out there, kids, you just have to keep the faith and remain positive. So when you are told that the only way to meet Mr. wonderful is going on line, don't believe it. You don't have to abandon the on line thing but walk on the wild side, switch it up

And by all means, keep on dancing. 









Comments

  1. Your advise to a sixty something year old woman who is considering dating a co worker is to make sure that he is not married. This catches my attention because my advise to a sixty something year old man who approaches a co worker is to make sure that she is not single.
    First, single woman at this age are unlikely to be impressed by you. If she is a widow then her ex is literally an angel for which there is no man on earth who is equal. If she is divorced then she has an ex who is probably a guy just like you. If she has never been married then there is no man exciting enough for her to mess that up.
    Secondly, after the certain failure of the relationship,a single woman has no need to be discrete about what happened and that can put stress on the work environment
    On the other hand a married woman is more likely to be satisfied with what you can offer and she has powerfull reasons to be discrete if it ends.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I don’t know what topics that you intend to write on in the future but I would be interested in hearing your advice on preparing effective profiles for dating apps.
    I read a lot of women’s profiles and in a typical one a lady will capture my attention with her photographs but will trigger multiple alarms in her written narrative. Then I start to wonder if she is intentionally discouraging potential suitors of if it is an unknowing reveal.

    ReplyDelete
  3. thanks for following. you can also follow me on instagram
    @sixtyandthecity
    or FB

    i never know what i am going to write about it until i actually do
    am clueless about profiles quite frankly. they sometimes start to all sound the same.

    don't over think what you read in the profiles as they are more than likely at least 30% crapola.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As you say, profiles all start to sound the same after awhile and they all contain a large amount of crap. But why would someone write a bunch of self promoting crap and end it with something like “I need a man who appreciates a strong independent woman who is fluent in sarcasm and drinks a lot of wine”?
      I probably do overthink this stuff.
      Kind regards.

      Delete

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