Changing it up or not...

I’ve always had a somewhat haphazard approach to dating. Have never had that singlemindenesss of purpose to keep slogging through it all. I love  slogging,don’t you? For me, the answer is NO!!!

There are women and men, who are goal oriented in every way particularly about finding their bashert, I won’t be mean and tell you to google it. Loosely translated, it means the one with whom you are supposed to be. Now, that you’ve broken your teeth on that sentence, Stick with bashert.

So, sixty in my usual loosey goosey style has always approached dating as something that is a means to an end. Is it a lot of work? It can be? Is it fun? Yes, it can be. Do you meet nice guys? Sure

According to my 2 adult daughters I am too picky, have too many rules and blah blah. Not sure if this is legit but it does resonate. I don’t want just “a someone” so am not alone. Sue me, I want fun and laughter and maybe if am super lucky great sex and even more importantly, love! Geez, is that aaking too much??

Have I kissed some frogs along the way in my quest? Oh honey, frogs are a mild understatement and this has NOTHING to do with looks.

What’s really the rub is I don’t want 51%. But really if I were going to be honest, I don’t want to do the work that’s entailed in finding mr someone. Hello, darling you are saying to me, how are you supposed to find him? Is he driving up Riverside Drive on his chariot? Not likely.

Am I lazy? The least lazy person you can ever meet, ok maybe not the least but I have been known to leap tall buildings in several soaring leaps.

Big reveal which you smart reader have probably already figured this out is that I work hard everyday so A-I don’t want a second job and 2- am risk averse. There, I’ve said it.

If I don’t like him then I won’t get hurt but if I like him and if he doesn’t like me? Not so much And yes, even at our age or any age it’s still 7th grade but now with cocktails and lousy knees. πŸ˜‰

I have a cool run with s nice guy and I’m thinking this could be good and it fizzled. No heartbreak there. But, get into a relationship with a great guy who is at least 65% even better and it doesn’t work out. Thwack, that hurts so what does 60 do?!? Run for the hills.

Well, I’ve decided to change that up. First, am finally going to find out if the person of interest to whom I’ve alluded is real or Electrolux. I know, wtf is taking me so long? You know the answer to that, don’t you?

Now, 2Nd thing is I’m going to take a life slash dating slash life lesson from a dear friend. This is a woman who never takes her eye off the ball. Professionally, she’s in a good place. Personally, she knows she wants someone in her life and she doesn’t give up. Is she a dog with a bone? A little bit but yay her! She’s my new heroine!

About a year ago, she met the nice guy. Was he fabulous, not exactly but importantly, he was sweet, kind and funny. The horizontal cha chat left a lot to be desired but she decided that it wasn’t important and there are always ways to remedy that issue. After all, there are certainly men out there who can can rock and roll with the best but ARE NOT NICE GUYS! Hello, what would you do?

What she did, compromise and embrace all the good things.

Anyway, she dated this guy for a little bit over a year and it was pleasant and fun!  Were there laughs? Of course, there were. But, ultimately, she realized that there were some nagging issues that she knew were ultimately going to end the relationship. The least of which was the deficit in the horizontal cha cha department. The biggest issue is that she really didn’t think she could love him.

GROAN!!!! So while she was figuring out her exit strategy he blew her off in a very passive aggressive text message!!! Was she hurt? HELLS TO THE YEAH! Was she angry? YOU BET!

What did she do? Took about a week and got right back on that proverbial horse and I don’t mean finding the first person to have hopefully, great sex with, although, that is on her mind!  She polished up her profile and is back on the apps and the sites and is ready to roll and has already had a few dates. GO HER!!!! She is my new heroine! Woops said that already and don’t care!πŸ˜‚

So, the takeaway: try to not get knocked down and out because something didn’t work out.
Dust yourself off, get a little Botox or whatever makes you feel good and get back out there!! Smile and enjoy and you never know who you’re going to meet!
 Gotta hop as I  hear my chariot pulling up to my building. Alright, it’s an Uber but a girl can dreamπŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜ŽπŸ˜‚





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