Drama free??

For anyone who has ever been on a dating app, you have certainly seen the "drama free" or "no drama" thing noted on many men's profiles. Women do it, too, but far less frequently. I have read that men are about 3 times more likely to have it on their profiles. My theory with some of the women is that they put "no drama" so they become more attractive to the men out there in cyber world. OYY  ***that OY was an involuntary response that just came out of me as I typed. LEGIT!

No judgement on those women, who have done the no drama doo doo dance.  Who am I or anyone to judge as there's a good shot that at some point, I certainly have had it on my own profile on some app or site. 

Now, what does Mr. No Want Drama  say to you?  To me, clearly, he doesn't want his life bothered with someone else's "stuff". You  know the type, he wants "low maintenance." What are we cars?

Clearly, we all want laughter, fun and happiness but hello, do any of these guys have a real life?  Of course, they do!

What they want apparently, is someone who has lived her life hermetically sealed in a bubble having never experienced a real life. They're looking for  that "mythical  woman" who  never has a bad day, is never sad or never struggles with real life issues like kids, elderly parents, health issues,  job concerns etc etc etc

Sixty has a newsflash for these guys; life is full of drama. Everyone has had something and it's relative. Now, does anyone want someone who makes a parade out of a broken dish or a stubbed toe, ABSOFREAKINGLUTELY NOT!

But real stuff whether it be a lousy day or a sick, elderly parent or a health issue or whatever, it comes with the dinner so to speak. 

The flip side is doesn't this guy have drama or another one I love baggage? OF COURSE, HE DOES.

 If he's lived a certain amount of years, there have been some wonderful highs and some annoying things and some miserable, horrible  things. If he sounds like nothing has ever happened to him other than sunshine and lollipops, he can move on down the road!!

***SIDEBAR: you know how sixty loves her sidebars. Baggage is different than drama and yes, we all have it. Our baggage should be in our rear view mirror as it's in the past but that doesn't mean we don't have empathy for someone who may be carrying a Tumi or 2.
 It's freeing to let all that go but for some, including sixty, it's not so easy but like all of you, I've worked super hard and made tremendous progress but remain a WORK IN PROGRESS! And as you know, letting go of that stuff is DAMN LIBERATING!! Now toxic baggage whole other thing and another post.....

Some of these men don't want the same drama that clutters their lives: entanglements with ex spouses, health issues,  kids, parents etc. Maybe, they went through a horrible divorce and don't want to become a part of someone else's mess. Or they've lost a spouse and don't want to relive that pain.

 They just don't want someone who has had similar issues. Because, Yes, it can be like bringing up a bad meal and I for one, do not want to hear every last detail of someone's hideous, protracted divorce on the 2nd date but that's a whole other issue, That's called TMI, inappropriate,  buzz kill and too soon. 
You know sixty's feelings on that: if you still need to chew over your divorce on a first phone call or date,  then you are not ready to be out there but I digress, OF COURSE, I DO.

Bottom line is we want someone who has had life experience and has possibly had similar things happen to him and GETS IT. 

NO drama is FULL OUT BS. That's at least the way sixty sees it and you know sixty calls it like she sees it. This might signal at the most extreme someone who has no ability to be empathetic or in the more likely case, he just doesn't want to be annoyed with "it" all. Now, doesn't this sound like someone you want to be with especially at this stage in our lives?

HELLS TO THE NO and we know that and if there are some of you out there that feel that you can't share things in your lives with someone with whom you are involved,  try to rethink it, otherwise you're in for nothing but nothing.

And we deserve more and we should have more. We want the guy that gets that life has its ups and downs. It makes us appreciate the good things even more. We are not automatons. We are living feeling fabulous women. REAL WOMEN.
  
Life's an adventure and we are here to experience it all. Great days YAY. not so great days, they come and they go and we deal with them. Some people's challenges are herculean others not so difficult but they are real.

Having a partner means not having to go through all of it alone.

What's the takeaway: we want real guys who may have some battle scars but have worked what ever they could through and deal with whatever is left just as we do.

Soooooooooooooooo,  keep on being fabulous and DON'T EVER STOP DANCING and if you haven't found a guy who possesses a sensitivity chip then dance on by!



Comments

Popular Posts