Beginning again....

For some misbegotten reason, I deluded myself into thinking that at last and maybe for forever, I would be done with the carousel of dating. Why misbegotten, because this guy, Mr. N.  wasn't my beshert, the man with whom I'm supposed  to be but damn, I really wanted him to be " him".

Anyway, I've gotten passed it but must admit that I've been out of sorts about the whole thing not so much about the actual Mr. N but the concept of a person of interest and then of course, the dusting myself off, picking myself up and starting all over again. If you can sing that, let me know. We'll record it together... 

Now, of course, I've moved on as I'm not mourning the end of a relationship/situationship but more the end of my delusion. LOL and oy, at the same time. OK, licked my "wounds"  and even tried to bake bread but now,  almost ready to start shopping and I don't mean at the new Nordstrom's  on 57th Street,  although, right now that’s more compelling than the shoperama on the sites. Take a deep breath and jump in. Well, not yet but soon. 

###sidebar: I've never minded going anywhere(except out of town weddings) by myself but for whatever reason, I grew complacent having a person and now, I find myself saying, ugh, i have to go to this huge bash alone. Not so much. HELLO, SIXTY where and who are you??? and slapped myself out of it. For any of you who have been single for awhile, you know the feeling of being the only person solo at an event where everyone is paired off. What happens if there's a flood, who am I going to paired off with as in 2 by 2??? Well, Eli of course and quite frankly, that would work for me a lot better than the wrong guy. TRUTH!

So to give myself a little head start, I went on Match, NOT AS A MEMBER, not there yet, but just as a visitor. Of course, many of the men were new faces but some I knew from previous searches and a few, with whom I'd actually shared a meet and greet with,  aka, where's the exit/only kidding but not really in some instances.

Ok, not surprising but what's the first thing I thought of is why the hell are these guys still on here? Duh, the same damn reason I am. Did I really expect to see a clean slate of all new faces? Yes, but no but yes. SIGH!

Then because clearly, I have a masochistic streak, I downloaded bumble about which we already know that I am not a fan.  The few men whom I saw, I knew, not in the biblical sense but I'd either connected with them on the site or gone on a date with them. UGH UGH UGH and immediately deleted the app.

What's next?   I've got to hitch on my big girl panties and get going. The really great thing is that I have tons of pictures as a result of having the blog and actually, some which I really like. We all are our strictest critics and I am brutal about pictures. Filter, filter, filter. Stop tutting, it's an art and everyone does it. I'm just brazen enough to admit it.

And don't get me started on the profiles including my own. So have to work on that and then go for it. Am feeling slightly vomalicious about the whole thing but that could also be because it's Halloween and I've eaten chocolate the entire day.

What's the takeaway? We all know that dating can be filled with mine fields filled with married men, miscreants, putzes etc but and this is KEY, there are a lot of good guys out there. I've learned a valuable lesson that settling is just that and it's not for me and it's not for you. Keep dancing and you never know who you might bump into on the dance floor.

Stay tuned. 


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