Dating news and what do we really want??

So now that we have gotten used to the 2 instead of the 1 in the year, we can all move on from that and get down to the "serious" business of dating. Ok, there is a significant amount of tongue in cheek but stay with me.

Let's start with the premise that we all know what a date is. Well, yes, maybe and possibly,  no. For editorial purposes and so I don't get caught in a quagmire of descriptors, after all I have the flu, we are going to keep this as simple as possible.

I've already lost myself somewhere in the last paragraph, but I'll catch up, maybe.

Don't know what comes in your inbox but lately, I have been bombarded with stories about dating and new terminology and yes, the very meaning of a date and what are we the dating public looking for and what do we call it. PUHLEEZE, too many words even for sixty. This is not the time for existential ruminating. A date is a date is a date. and thank you, Gertrude Stein. 

Date: someone asks you or you ask someone to meet up, already the wrong words but I digress, of course, I do.  Generally speaking unless someone is very inventive the FIRST date is usually a drink, coffee/not sixty just saying, and possibly dinner but not so much but whatever. There's also, the walk in the park date and the museum date, of which I am very fond, really! Wonder a museum, chatting and if the chatting is working, then a drink will follow and who knows? 

If the above definition of dating doesn't work for you, no judgement. Go on whatever you want to call it and go wherever. And if you come up with a better word and please don't say hanging out, by all means DM me. 

Now, why are we going on a date? I know elementary, my dear Watson,  but, apparently, not so much. Some people view dating much like an intramural sport. NOT ME, but hey, if you like the concept of going out with a new guy every night, go you.  Let's face it, dating is a means to an end. What's the end? Finding someone, period end of conversation as my mother used to say. 

Now, in my relatively recent enough past that my eldest, oh so smart daughter once called me the 'queen" of first dates, I did go on a fair amount of first dates and it was fun and then it wasn't. What was the problem? The usual: fear, trust and commitment issues, not knowing who I wanted and what I wanted and all that other good stuff that made for one large cup of cuckoo.๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰ Plus, no one rang my bell and NO, I don't mean that bell....

Well, in the last few years, I have FINALLY, hoisted on my semi big girl panties and realized that yes, I do want a someone and not just to accompany me to weddings so I don't have to dance alone. What am I the wallflower at a  junior high school dance? HELLS TO THE NO. Well, maybe, just a little...

What do I want now? A committed, loving relationship is what I want. Right, of course, right!

 Not so sure I know what form that will be but if it's right, we can work out the logistics together. Am I independent and do I like my alone time or my time with my besties? Absolutely, YES. Men come and go but our friends are forever.

Since I've been home fluing,  have been thinking, which is sometimes good and constructive, which this spate of thinking has been.

The man I date has to be independent, too and be minimally needy. Hell, I'm relatively needy on some levels and 2 needy people never goes well. I want someone who is fully formed and doesn't need to be validated every minute of every day. I never want to hear again the aggrieved whining complaint of  "you're not paying  enough attention to me." OYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Please know how to dress yourselves and I don't mean that literally.  Undressing is more my specialty, know what I mean๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰

So, for the purposes of this rather meandering post, I think that we all know what a date is and the bones of where to go etc and we know we want an SO. Yay, glad we ironed that out.

Now, that we've figured out that important stuff and haven't mentioned breadcrumbing or caspering or even that old chestnut, ghosting, we need to go on some dates or at least I do. Am still playing site roulette. Sign up, cancel. Sign up, cancel. I'll get there sooner than later.

On line tidbit: guy contacts me, I answered and his first question, not kidding: do you sleep naked to which I answered half. Never heard from him again.

Oh well, some things never change and then they do.

KEEP ON DANCING!!! and BTW, do you sleep naked??


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