So have I passed my expiration date? 


And no, I am not talking about expiration as in dying or shelf life like cottage cheese turning into penicillin. Ugh. I’m talking about aging out. Now, there are many things that whirl around sixty’s head and this dawned on me recently as in a few nights ago. It’s been rattling around for at least a decade but now, it’s like getting cold water thrown on me. Then again, in 97 degree HEAT, cold water could be delightful. 
Whoops, i divert. Of course, I do.

As one ages, no matter how self actualized one is about growing older and accepting not being young and all that good stuff, it does not mean the world is or should I say men are?

I’ve been on and off dating sites for more years than I care to count. Mostly off, as one bad date, which I’ve said before, sends me fleeing sometimes for months and in certain cases, years. Now those were some bad dates that had me going into No man zone.😱

Clearly, there have been more important things to think about during the Covid pandemic but as a relief from unrelenting fear and terror, I skew to my go tos. 

And yes, for several months, when it was scary time here in NYC, I had Mr Dr to virtual happy hour with. As NYC started opening up, I pondered getting more involved and dipped my toe into swiping land or should I say finger.
It’s not all that different but the expiration date to which I am referring is the one that screams out from the page to many men, OLD, OLD, OLD and why date someone age appropriate when you can date someone 20 years younger? Firstly, the hell with them! Are they not “old”, too? Of course they are!

And of course, We can date younger, too, but I’m not talking 30 something but if you want 30ish   Go YOU! I still have that 50 something rolling in and out but he’s moving and you know men can only manage one event at a time. Wink wink. But legit. 

How does this aging out manifest itself? Without going into the minutiae of how these apps work, bumble gives the woman the advantage of swiping first. Big Woop because if the guy doesn’t swipe back, that’s the end of that dance. I have noticed a precipitous decline since my last birthday. As you know, if you have been following me, for search purposes and vanity, I started lying about my age when I first signed onto online dating. And this “age” as of last birthday was a significant one and one that usually signals, lying and guess what, I am.  Oh well, hoisted on my own BS but whatever.

It’s a little late in the game to put my real age which is a few years older than my fake age. Will serve absolutely no purpose. Stop rolling your eyeballs. It’s my thing and many people’s thing so judge not. And if my faux age screams old then hell what is my 3 years older age going to mean? Additionally, I’ve seen these guys on these sites for awhile so changing my age to the real age is going to read odd. 

So what to do? Hell, I would like to go out with a nice young stud of 50. Why the hell not? Less issues perhaps, in the bedroom, which is a buzz kill from hell and the rest of the age stuff. Please spare me from the likes of one of my last dates before Covid. Guy walked in and didn’t recognize him as he clearly posted images from the Reagan era. UGH. Ok, old doesn’t have to be boring or tired or whatever. There are a lot of fabulous people over 60. Look at me. Lolololo, but I mean it. 

What was the real problem is that he sat down and literally took a breath told me that he was 80 and then did a run down of his varying and sundry health issues. Now, I am not without sympathy but wine is on the menu for a first date not his arrhythmia. 

Do we have clarity? I am not ageist. I’m older and grateful to be aging as there is no other viable alternative and I have dated and had relationships with men of my age or a tad older but they were young in spirit and had retained the joie de vivre and weren’t part of the oy, my lumbago crew. Just can’t with that. 

I have knees that are mostly lousy. Some days worse than others. Do I go on a date or hang with friends and wax poetic about knee replacement? HELLS TO THE NO. Plus am not having knee replacement ever or until i cant walk. I come from strong and stubborn stock. My father stayed young well into his 90’s and if i am blessed to grow old old, knock wood and all that jazz, I intend to stay as “young”  and immature as I am now.

In a world turned upside down, this is all not terribly important but after much reflection and innumerable conversations with Eli, when he was still alive, I realize that a partner would be POSSIBLY very possibly a good thing as long as long as it’s with a non needy independent man.
I think a lot of women and men who have been solo for years are starting to think more than before, that partnership need not be indentured servitude or mean a loss of one’s selfhood.

So the takeaway is try to boot up my game. Perhaps, being like some of my counterparts who take this more seriously and put some skin in the game! Damn,  I have been wanting to say that for 30 years. Now, I’ve said it.  Move on, sixty. Additionally, Ratchet up my profile and be me. That’s not going to ever change nor should it. No one is putting this “baby” in the corner ever. Dirty Dancing, sigh.

BTW, on the day Eli died and when he was struggling so hard to stay, I promised him as I did a few years ago, with my father, that I was ok and would be ok without him.Well that’s been a struggle but a promise  is a promise and am working on it and getting another dog AND trying to do this dating thing. There you have it.

Keep on dancing kids. And stay tuned. 


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