Learning, always learning
Sixty is all about learning new things even if the topic is something about which I thought I knew enough to write many posts or why don’t i just say it a book or 2?
So, Sixty took a huge leap of faith and went traipsing up to North Yuhappettsville to have an extended date with Mr. Country whom I’d never met. Already a little nuts but whatever.
What struck me as a little disquieting was the fact that this guy was planning our lives together after 2 days. Ok, no one especially anyone who went through lock down doesn’t enjoy a little or a lot of flattery and a lot of attention but the planning up the future after a few hours was a little bizarre and the pre pandemic sixty would have been running to the door.
But, no, I let him prattle on and kind of believe it or not, enjoyed it. I surprised myself with my newfound ability to not find fault with every little thing and not be afraid to let someone close to me and I mean the emotional closeness.
So let’s seque forward to real life in NYC. He had made the decision to stay upstate and he was less than thrilled that I, as opposed to him could not work anywhere but needed to be in the city to do what I do. So we continued our never ending texting and I have to admit that I liked the connection or so I thought.
We had plans for me to go up to North Yuhappettsville, hereafter, to be called North Y but they didn’t pan out again because I needed to be back on Monday and he was less than happy about that because he didn’t feel like driving.
Now he has a very, very busy career which keeps him zooming and phoning but he resented my career which he knows I really value. Ok, now I started to come out of my covid coma, and get a grip. I mentioned to him that even though I wasn’t making the world safe for whatever the hell he did, I was doing good work and I loved it.
I started to notice that the texts were usually all about him but they were growing even more one sided. Again, the new me, tamped down my inner voice, NEVER DO THAT, RIGHT? And chose to ignore the warning signs.
Last weekend, I had invited him to come down for the holiday. He hadn’t been feeling well with what turned out to be a sinus infection. Now, do I have to listen to a man whining about not feeling well but I tried my best not to say shut up and reassured him that he would feel better soon.
Because of the times we live in where a global pandemic is still raging, I started to think that maybe before he came down here, he should take a covid test. I didn’t mention it but I guess that he figured out the direction I was pointing him towards.
Alas, up in North Y, there is no rapid test so he wasn’t able to get a quick response. Now, should I have said, the hell with it come anyway. The answer was HELLS TO THE NO. I genuinely felt badly that he wasn’t going to be able to join us, because I really wanted to see if there was anything really there. I could have thrown caution to the wind but I wasn’t devoid of good sense. I got that he was bummed to be alone but reality is reality.
We spoke throughout the weekend but I could tell he was in full tilt pissy mood and I tried my best to placate him but...Then because as said, I wanted to see if there was something really between us, in spite of the not very nice texts, I invited him down for this weekend.
By this point, I barely was hearing from him and while I missed the texting, I started to realize something that was probably going on for awhile which was it was always all about him. Now, I like it to be about me but am realistic and adult enough to understand that it should be a give and take.
I blithely went out to the island to get a haircut and meet up with an insta bud and was feeling distinctly out of touch from him and you know, i think my brain finally had rebooted and realized that there wasn’t much there and oh well.
For some reason, I wanted to know why I had gone from caviar to left over chopped liver. Why did I care? Because I did. Did he find a new flavor? Ugh, was I in 7th grade?
On the way home, I looked at my phone and saw a text message from the now not very nice Mr. Country basically telling me that none of this was working for him and goodbye good luck and have a nice life. The thing that screamed from the text was the comment if I wanted a full explanation he would email it to me. Well, sixty was less than happy, not because he was blowing me off but because I hadn’t listened to what my little voice was saying all along, PLUS, had he been raised by wolves?
I texted him back that no, I didn’t want an email but a phone call like real adults. What I received next was really nasty and that be that. CASE CLOSED.
So what did I learn? I knew that I had been starved for human contact and was thrilled to be with someone but the someone was Mr SOB and not Mr. Country. Am thrilled to have taken this little adventure but it took me getting dumped from a relationship that never was to realize, I had clearly temporarily lost my way.
Interestingly, when we first started”talking”, we very frankly admitted how lonely we were during lockdown and how we both had come to the realization that being alone was no day at the beach in a pandemic and that yes, indeed, we both wanted to partner up.
So what’s the takeaway: I hit a bump in the road on my first foray in to dating in our new world but I’ve found my way. Were my feelings hurt, yes, but why? Because I was treated badly and DAMN, I should have done the dumping. But seriously, I deserve to be treated in a kind way and if I had decided to end the operetta, it would have never been via text. Remember when Carrie Bradshaw got dumped on a post it. Well, sixty got the heave ho on a text.
It took a few hours and I got passed myself, cranked up my music and danced it out. Guess what, am ready for the next adventure but this time sixty’s head is firmly screwed back on. YAY and right now, the best news of all is that I’m cleared to get a new doggy and I have a few fellows in my proverbial holding pen. WOOHOO And NEXT.
Keep dancing kids. Don’t lose yourself and if you do, you’ll find yourself once you look. Never tamp down your inner voice. She knows best.
MAKE IT FABULOUS!! ONLY YOU CAN