End of year ruminations....AKA and there’s more.....

Is anyone actually going to be sorry to see 2020 go bye bye? This year needs to go and it will be gone in a matter of a few days. WOOHOO!

This  year started with the usual bru ha ha of new decade and double digits and all that jazz. We see how well that’s all turned out.

Anyway, there is a light at the end of this very long tunnel and wow, can it happen faster? An actual vaccination that will hopefully, bring the world to a better place.

What have you learned in this year? Me, plenty... Most importantly, never take anything for granted. Feeling grateful everyday is another. There’s more but you don’t need my laundry list as I could go on for days.  After all, am sixty, have to live up to my reputation for being loquacious. 

 Did you ever think it would be a big deal to see your kids much less hug them? BTW, speaking of hugging, they really don’t want to hug me and it’s not just because I annoy them but because they’re terrified of getting me sick so most of the hugging has been with me wearing a mask or all of us masked up.  Add onto that seeing friends and all the pedestrian things that we never ever thought of until now. How about holding someone’s hand? Wow!

Now everything is an operetta so that hug from the kids or the FaceTime with a girlfriend is like a piece of heaven. I work with kids and one of the reasons I have continued doing it is that I love the kids and I love the work and I LOVE LOVE getting out of the damn house plus so far, schools at least here in NYC, where the rules are tight, the infection rate is very low. Knock wood and all that jazz. 

So, I put on my big girl panties, hitch on a KN95 mask and go go go and feel like a different person after a day spent with young kids.  And hello, why is it so easy for a child of 4/5/6 to wear a mask without one word of whining? Why is that so hard for “grown ups”?? Who the hell knows? One little boy told me a few weeks ago that grown ups are stupid, his word, because they don’t wear masks and don’t they know there’s corona because he does and said he, “I’m only a little boy”. Wow, out of the mouths of babes....

My mother had this favorite saying, which so resonates now. I can’t count the number of times I heard her say it,  “ you’re only by this way once.”  BTW, that’s one of my fave hashtags. She would have loved that and probably would have demanded a credit at the end of each post. What she was referring to was the tendency for people to put off until tomorrow something that they want to do or to see or to experience and most importantly there’s only one “today” and each today has the promise of being a great one. 

Well, my mother got swept away in the Hong Kong flu pandemic never realizing that she was going to be here for such a short time. Boy,  would she have been pissed as she never got my father to buy that diamond wedding band that she wanted. If she knew her time was so limited, she would have said the hell with it and him, and bought it for herself and done so so so many things. The thing that sticks with me the most is her ability to turn each day into an adventure.

BTW, thrown into this mix is the fact that she died on NYE, a casualty of said pandemic. Yes, big oy for so many reasons and doubly ironic because yearly, my parents had a huge bash on NYE. 

Anyway, from that day forward, I got the message loud and clear how precious life is and how in one minute one’s life can change forever. 

So wake up my friends and smell the roses or if you’re like me the candles or the shampoo on my kids heads and make each day a good one. And yes, many do suck but hell, focus on the one good thing that happened and let that form the day. Am still a work in progress but this year has forced me to work through some of the demons. 

Now from the serious to the ridiculous. This dating thing always crappy without a pandemic muddying the waters and YES, I’M AWARE THAT I’VE SAID THAT MANY MANY TIMES. ...Yes, i did that crazy thing in the summer. Ok, nuts but it seemed like a good idea at the time and you know what? It was. That he turned out to be a putz oh well, he got me out of the house and more into the real world. 

The latest on the hit parade of lunatics I seem to find is a guy I will give the name Pill face. Never one to get excited by someone who after one phone call wants to spend the next one talking about his divorce and asking me to talk  about mine. How’s about no and no but I figured, I’d give him one more whirl and scheduled a virtual happy hour date. Eternal optimist or batshit crazy or combination thereof am I. 

He actually was somewhat charming and cute and I thought maybe he had just had had a bad day. This was more a small talk kind of encounter, my jam btw, because I never want much reality on a first date and now I REALLY want sunshine and lollipops and LAUGHS. TRULY.

If I wanted to hear reality, I’d turn on the news, which I have mostly avoided for months. To my mind, small talk is the best way to start dating as I don’t know this person. We went from hello, how are you to so when are we getting together and can I come over and make you French toast says he. First of all, I hate French toast. Now a bagel shmear or a stack of pancakes with real maple syrup,  maybe, but legit how’s about NO! 

Pill face was quite chagrined and whined about how hard it was to meet someone IRL  and that this was the only choice on the menu.  Now of course, no dummy here, he wasn’t making me French toast in the evening but the morning after. Know what i mean? Wink wink. 
Sixty doesn’t get ruffled but without missing a beat I said that he had to be kidding and that I don’t let strangers into my house especially now. And EWWWWW! And anyone coming into my house sure as hell better have a negative covid test and certainly that’s not a first date even now. 

And he didn’t shut up and didn’t I get that he hadn’t had sex in years. Ok, over and out. Good bye good luck and see ya never. 

After this charming convo, I actually got off the phone and just cracked up. Had we all been in the house alone for too long, ya think?? and have become like feral cats? 

Couldn’t he just have been like any other “normal” guy  and not shared this little tidbit and just  watched some porn? Really sheesh.

Anyway, that sums up the dating in this oh so fabulous year...I had a 3 hour happy hour with a very dear friend and we traded some dating war stories in covid world.  It was the best 3 hours the whole week. We are about the same age and let’s just say we’ve been there and done that and...

She said something that I’ve been thinking about which is we need more girlfriends. Yes, the SO would be divine but has that ship sailed? She thinks so. I don’t think so or am a tad more optimistic but what I do agree about is during all of this a great girlfriend beats the BS of the dating thing. 

And a dog. Must have a dog as it’s never ending ceaseless love and great companionship. Saw my grand doggie today and did I mention that not only is she brilliant but she’s entertaining. I’ll take it. Eli looms large and I still miss him everyday. 

Going back around, it’s sixty so hang with me. Does  that mean am hanging up my dating dancing shoes? No, but I think am on a break and besides which, I can dance by myself and have more fun. 

So, what’s the takeaway? This too shall pass and we will have learned many valuable lessons. We are social beings and the lack thereof is no fun even for the most introverted and yes, you can tell if someone is smiling even wearing a mask. look at their eyes. There you go. And breathe let the wind blow on the part of your face not covered by a mask and feel grateful. 

Wishing all a very Happy, healthy and peaceful New Year! And never forget to keep dancing...




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