Dating over 60 and other indignities (AKA the third date rule)
Hello to all as I’ve been MIA for several months on the blog thing as a result of ongoing back, elbow etc that has made me unable to be on ipad for any length of time. Now, isn’t that sexy?
Moving on from that, I have been thinking about the concept about which I’ve written before which is “is settling so bad”?
This recent stood up guy thing was not something that I took all too seriously but must confess that from jump street, I was very impressed with his intellect(for me, one of the biggest aphrodisiacs) his worldliness, his being into the same culture vulture stuff but the giant but, in spite of his kindness and solicitude, he bored me senseless. NOT GOOD. He’s a professor so he can’t get away from the lecture. The other thing up there and actually more important, is he didn’t make me laugh. Sleep almost, laugh not so much. Now I am a chronic insomniac so maybe I should have stayed the course and perhaps, the biggest pay day would be sleep. The hell with romance, right?? Not so much. Would have gone on another date which was planned but decided why?? Then after I sent a very kind text saying basically not you’re putting me to sleep but just the not for me generic text. Boom, as soon as I pressed send, I wondered if once again, I’ve pushed someone out of the way because he wasn’t for me, am too picky etc but no laughter not even a chuckle not negotiable so next. Not having some laughs giggles or whatever is key to any good relationships for sure. Was this commitment phobic sixty not being open? Nope, in this particular case, I for sure don’t think so. Have been reading about the over 55 set, not all but some, who have chosen to be in a meaningful relationship without the living together part. Seeing one another 4 days or whatever weekly but having one’s own home. Sounds very appealing but first I have to get passed the first date hiccup. Spent an afternoon with a friend whom I’ve known for over 45 years. She’s about 10 years younger than I am. BTW, post 60, each year can be roughly translated to about 1/2 of a dog year and yes, lol but legit. And I am not talking about wrinkles and etc. but more the what hurts today syndrome!!! This woman is very attractive, the sweetest, charming and put together and has a flourishing career. Does she have a boyfriend or better yet, does she get passed the first date? NOT SO MUCH. Alrighty then, WTH? Is it something in the water? Who knows? So, in typical sixty fashion, am all over the place like a cheap suit, garmento expression that I still love, but I’m back to the settling question and I guess through my circuitous route, I’ve come to the reality that some things are deal breakers. No laughs is one of them. Not too bright definitely not for me. Do I still like tall, dark and handsome, yah but that went the way of my brown hair so I have recalibrated my expectations on that issue. Looks are secondary to someone who is terrific and to be honest, I’m over the pretty boys. Now, if a Sean Connery type came walking into my life, my interest would be piqued but there has to be substance. Well, maybe not, but yes, really. The other deal breaker for me is the am old and ready for the glue heap syndrome. NOT FOR ME. I may be closing in on 70 sooner than later, but I will be the last one discussing on a date or anytime what hurts what might hurt what could hurt tomorrow. I just can’t deal with it. I’ve no patience nor do I want anyone in my life who has an inordinate need to discuss a hangnail. Now, going younger could work and I “have” one of those orbiting around but a date, not happening but he’s still in my contacts. Wink 😉 What’s key is common interests, someone who is still working either for money or not for profit but still has a hand in the real world, someone who’s kind, compassionate and lovable like me and funny etc etc etc. A lot of the men who have come my way in recent days have been men who don’t want someone who works because they don’t, therefore, they don’t want someone who has interests other than stirring his tapioca. Oh yah, that entices me like root canal does. So rounding the end of this kids, I promise, what do women want or what does this woman want? A nice, menchy sweetie pie who has love in his heart and wants a real woman to love not a Barbie. Still has the yen to see and do new things and is funny and loves laughing and must read and and be aware. Yah, the horizontal chacha is nice but talking about lowering expectations, but not going into that nor do I want to be snarky. Ok well, maybe a little bit. But sex is sex and I have certainly not foreclosed on that part of life especially since it’s a great stress mitigator but it’s not all there is. True intimacy often has nothing to do with the cha cha. Go figure. So, where is he? I choose to think he’s out there somewhere for me and all of you who are still looking and with a little luck and not too much work, if we’re lucky we will find him. And the beat goes on!!!